1Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake p***s at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

3Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your p***s and scratch your ass. 4Get in the shower.

Wash your face. Wash your armpits. 5Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse themoff. 6Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 7Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 9Pee. 10Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

11Admire p***s size in mirror again.

12Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

13Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake p***s at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.