Men Can Never Win - If you work too hard, you re not spending enough time with her.

If you don't work hard enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum. - If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better. - If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity. - If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference. - If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive. - If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

- If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favor. - If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you re a slob.

- If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

- If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist. If you're not, you're not ambitious.