An elderly man in East Texas owned a large farm with a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice -- picnic tables, horseshoe court, and some apple and peach trees. One evening the farmer decided to go down to the pond. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping. He made the women aware of his presence and they all scampered to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned. "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond, " he said, holding up the bucket. "I'm just here to feed the alligator." Moral: Some old men can still think fast.