An octopus walks into a bar and says "I can play any instrument you like". The Englisman gives it a guitar which it plays better than Jimi Hendrix. The Irishman gives it a piano which it plays better than Elton John. The Scotsman throws him a set of bagpipes.

The octopus fumbles about for a couple of minutes without a sound from the bagpipes and the Scotsman asks, "What's wrong? Can ye no play it?" The octopus replies, "Play it? I'm gonna F her brains out once I get her pyjamas off."