An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life, when all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears and informs her that she will be granted three wishes. ''Well, now, '' says the old lady, ''I guess I would like to be really rich.

'' POOF Her rocking chair turns to solid gold. ''And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess.'' POOF She turns into a beautiful young woman.

''Your third wish?'' asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. ''Ooh - can you change him into a handsome prince?'' she asks. POOF There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten.

With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear, ''Bet you're sorry you had me neutered.''