--3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

--I love cats ... they taste just like chicken. --Out of my mind.

Back in five minutes. --Very funny, Scotty.

Now beam down my clothes --As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. --Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot. --Sometimes I wake up grumpy Other times I let her sleep. --Don't blame me, I'm from Uranus. --Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT! --It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you. --When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

--Friends don't let Friends drive Naked. --I took an IQ test and the results were negative. --When there's a will, I want to be in it! --Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check? --If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat? --Time is the best teacher Unfortunately it kills all its students! --It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. --Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

--Give me ambiguity or give me something else. --Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. --He who laughs last thinks slowest.

--Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. --Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

--Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.