A new condom shop opens in soho. It has condoms ranging from 20p to 1m A multimiliionaire goes in and looks at a platinum jewel encrusted top of the range condom.

He looks at the shop keeper and says "how do i know this is any good?" "Ah Sir" the shopkeeper replies "We have a try before you but policy.....

HELGA!" And out comes a stunning scandinavian bird, the millionaire goes off with her round the back, tries the condom out and buys it.

He tells a friend of his, so along he comes, a stock market trader wealthy but not as wealthy as his friend, who looks at a white and yellow gold condom. The same thing happens and he disapppears out the back with Helga again. Outside a tramp has been watching this so he goes in, places all his change on the counter, a total of 89p, and asks what he gets for that. The shopkeeper hands him a special '2 for one pack'. "So, do i get to try before I buy as well?" the tramp asks, and again the shopkeeper calls "Helga..

" As Helga appears a huge grin appears on the tramps face, only to fade abruptly as the shopkeeper turns to helga and says "Helga, go grease the cats ass!"