Boris Yeltsin dies and goes to hell. Well, we all knew that was going to happen, right? When he gets there, Satan is waiting to greet him. "Boris! So good to see you! We have a special offer for former leaders of countries this week, you get to choose your punishment, so follow me please....

" In the first room, there is Stalin, tied to the rack, and not only is the rack being tighened, but there is a huge eagle on his torso, pecking away.

Soon, the eagle pecks out Stalin's liver and flies away with it. Stalin's wounds close over and the eagle returns. Yeltsin says to Satan, "I don't think this is for me, " and Satan replies, "Ok, on to the next one." In the next room, there is Lenin, tied to rope and being swung back and forth by giggling demons through a forest of cactus plants. Every time he swings away from the demons, they dip their their hands into salt, or antiseptic, to rub into his wounds next time they push him. Yeltsin says to Satan, "I don't think this is for me, " and Satan replies, "Ok, on to the next one." In the next room, there is Krushchev, standing up to his neck in his own excrement. Satan looks at his writ**tch and says, "Ok, annual 5 minute break is over Krushchev, back to standing on your head!" Yeltsin says to Satan, "I don't think this is for me, " and Satan replies, "Ok, on to the next one.

" The next room is quite different from all the previous rooms.

It's much smaller, with plush velvet curtains and matching furniture, soft romantic music playing in the back ground, and in the middle of the room, Gorbachov is frantically chasing Marilyn Monroe around and around a sofa! Whenever she gets too far away from him, she trips over and he nearly catches her.

Marilyn is clearly terrified, and Gorbachov looks like half crazed with lust.

Yeltsin says to Satan, "That is the punishment for me!" Satan says, "Ok, out you get, Marilyn!"