The police were notified that a man was laying on the lawn in front of a private residence Two police officers responded and discovered a middle aged man, apparently intoxicated tying to get to his feet "Can we help you, "asked one of the officers "No thank you ossifer, "the druken man mumbled, "i am just trying to go home and to bed "is this your house sir? the second officer asked "of course, "the man said, holding up a key ring "this is my house and these are my door keys, c'mon "the inebriated man motioned for the officers to follow him as he clumsily inserted the key into the door he proclaimed "this is my front door "the door opened and he led the officers in he pointed to the entry way "this is my foyer" "this is my living room" he said as he led the officers further into the house "this is my allway, "he muttered between hiccups, "and this is my bedroom" he opened the door wide and pointed to the bed "thats my bed and the red headed woman is my wife, " the man burped loudly and then added "and the guy she's blowing... that's me!