Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference. Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. Colonel Sanders: I missed one?