Shortly after takeoff the pilot gets on the intercom and announces: "Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for flying our airline. We'll be cruising at an altitude of 35, 000 ft, flying at 450knots. It will take about 4 hours to reach the coast. If our friendly stewards or stewardess's can help you in any way, just let them know. And thank you again for flying our airline." With this completed, he leans over and tells the co-pilot: "I'm gonna go take a good shit then f**k the head stewardess", not realizing that he'd forgot to turn off the intercom. Infuriated, the head stew started running up to the cabin to give the pilot hell, when she trippped on the carpet and fell. Little old lady sitting near where she fell leaned over and said to her "no need running sweetie, we all heard he's gotta shit first."