A guy is driving down a long country lane at 100mph, a police officer is at the side of the road with a radar gun and catches the guy speeding, he follows and signals the guy to stop.

When he gets over to the car he asks the guy why he was speeding, the man replies that he'd been fishing all day and he'd lost track of time and if he didn't get home soon his wife would staple his balls to the floor. The cop looks at him and says that the man has a nice car and says that to drive a car like that he must have a good job.

The man replies "Yes, I'm a rectum stretcher", the cop looks at him in puzzled way and asks what that entails. "Well" says the man "first I get a group of people together and I get them to bend over the oil my fingers up and slide both my index fingers in to their rectums then I keep going until I've got both my hands in and gently pull apart until the rectum is 6 feet wide", "SIX FEET WIDE" replies the cop "What the hell do you do with a six foot arse hole?". The man calmly replies "Give him a uniform and a radar gun and stick him on a country lane!"