A guy wakes up after a night of drinking, with his eyes still shut, he overheards his wife moving around the bedroom. fearful that she'll start the usual yelling, he waits until she leaves the room to open his eyes. when he does, he finds a glass of water and some alkaseltzers in his night stand, along with a perfumed note that reads: honey, your favorite breakfast is ready, I had to go out to run some errands, but please wait for me, I love you so much.

confused, the guy walks down stairs and finds his teenage son watching TV. he asks: son, what happened last night? -you came home at around 3:00 am, completely drunk, crashed the car in the neighbor's garage, ran over the cat, vomited in the carpet and fell asleep in the stairs, so my mom had to wake me up to help you to your room. When my mom tried to take off your pants to get you to bed you yelled at her: quiet you bitch! I'm a married man!