Colleen had just accepted Paddys proposal of marriage and had asked him home for the weekend to meet her parents. Innocently she burst into the bathroom and saw Paddy standing naked. She ran to her mother and asked. "Mother, what's that thing hanging between Paddy's legs?" "Don't worry, that's his p***s, It's nothing to be concerned about." "But what's that big purple knob at the end?" asked Colleen. That's just the head" her mother replied.

"And what are those two round thing eighteen inches back from the head?" asked Colleen. "Well", said mother, "for your sake, I hope they're the cheeks of his arse." The annoyed wife phoned her husband at the pub, told him how late it was and politely suggested he should come home. Now. "But darling", the man pleaded, "I'm playing the pokies. I can't quit now. I'm on a winning streak.

I've got a stack of twenty cent pieces as long as my d**k!" "Huh!", snorted his wife. "You mean to tell me that all you've got left is a lousy two bucks?" Why do so many brides get crows feet as sonn as they are married? From squinting and saying, "suck what?" What's got seventy-five balls and screws old ladies? Bingo Why is a joke like p***y? Neithers any good if you don't get it